Might do something I'd be proud of someday,
Mark my words, I might be something someday."
I'm posting in a better mood now. On Sunday, I am gonna be twenty-one. I spent all week thinking about how sad it was that I have nothing to be proud of, that I've been alive for all these years and achieved absolutely nothing. It really got me down.
Last night, I came home from Dublin, and my mood changed. I was surrounded by my family, my neighbours, people I have spent all of my life with and I sort of realised that it's okay that I don't have a degree yet, that I don't have a boyfriend, that I'm not independent.
I do have people in my life who have been there, who have always been there. While I'm not where I thought I would be at this stage in my life, I think I am starting to be proud of myself.
There have been so many bad times, so many times where I really wasn't sure if I wanted to go on anymore and I am glad I did. I'm glad I'm still here. I know being twenty-one isn't gonna make my life any different but I'm really gonna try make this year count.
I hope that this time next year, I can write a blog and say that twenty-one was the best year ever. I'm not gonna say 'no' anymore, I'm not gonna stay in bed when I could be having fun. I'm not gonna push myself too hard to be new, shiny and happy, but I really am gonna make an effort. I am excited about starting college in September, and here's to new friends, new experiences and new feelings.
To my followers, thanks for reading and for your comments. You guys have no idea how much you've helped and I've never said it but I appreciate it so much. Hopefully some happier blogs are coming your way! :) Much love, guys. <3