Monday, May 3, 2010

"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them." 

I always thought I was really independent, enjoyed my own company, but now I'm starting to think that maybe I spend so much of my time alone for one reason only - the fact that it's just easier. I don't have very many friends. I know loads of people, from school and college and work, friends of friends and of course, people on Boards, but I tend to keep everyone at arms length. We can go out together and laugh and we can stay up all night and talk about everything... as long as it means nothing, nothing at all. 

So, I say that I love being by myself and while it can be okay, sometimes I wish I could let more people matter. I wish I wasn't so scared of being left, of being let down, of not being enough.


  1. Don't be afraid of not being enough, because then you will never be enough in your own eyes, and if you're never enough in your own eyes, you'll be happy with yourself.

    You just gotta be positive in being yourself and you'll win. It may not be instant, but it'll happen and you'll be truly happy in the long run.

  2. Thank you <3

    I know you're right. And it WILL happen. :)

  3. "it's better to have loved and lost,then never to have loved at all"

    I know it's easier to be by yourself,to shut people out.But the highs you get from it is worth the inevitable lows.

    Long term happiness is worth some risks and a bit of pain

  4. I'm just like you. In fact one of my best friends surprised me once by telling me that I'm 'closed'. I was a bit offended at the time as I consider myself friendly and open, but the truth is she was right - I AM friendly and open, but only on a superficially. The only person I'm really close to is my boyfriend. And I know how potentially dangerous that is, but to be honest I don't know how to let other people in. I find it unbelievably difficult.

    Phew. Never talked about that before. I feel like I just turned myself inside out!

  5. Oops. That should say 'a superficial level'. Fuck I'm tired! I think I need a long hot bath to soothe my poor fried brain cells!

  6. Thanks guys <3

    It is better to have loved than lost, once I would have argued that all night long but now I agree. I'd take loss anyday... Well, I'd try!

    Mmm, I like to think I'm friendly and open. I am! I'm friendly, but not in a 'spill your guts' kinda way, not in a 'lets be best friends and share secrets' way. I'm friendly and will have silly chats with anyone. I'm not sure if that's better than being too giving and open... or not!