06/04/'10

I guess the last month of my life has been a pretty bad one. When I go through phases of lows, it tends to be a very testing period for those who are closest to me. I wish that I could take back all the hurt that I have caused lately. I know it has been a very upsetting time for my parents and confusing, for my mum, who finds it so difficult to understand. I know that all she wants is for me to be happy and I'm really sorry for not being able to do that for her. 

I feel bad for my friends. I've put some of them in really terrible situations, and laid onto them huge responsibility. I'm sorry we don't learn Irish side by side anymore, and that we haven't been for long drives to nowhere. 

To any of my friends reading this, I hope you know that no matter how many times I tell you I don't want to go out, or that I'm too tired, I honestly, from the bottom of my heart, love you just for trying, for asking. I'm sorry I never hug you anymore, and that I don't know the right words to say thank you enough. 

I hope that someday, someday soon, my mum will know that this isn't all her fault and even though there are days when I think things are never going to be alright, there are also days when I know that I have some of the most wonderful people looking out for me. So it'll just have to be okay. 

To my friends, I think the juice will be worth the squeeze. ♥